


God Bless Kale (Destiel)

by SatanSpawnedNougat



Series: The Jack Protection Squad [2]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Castiel is Jack Kline's Parent, Castiel lost Jack, Crack, Fluff and Crack, Gabriel is awesome, Jack Kline discovers Spongebob, Jack and Gabriel are eating candy, M/M, Rowena is so done, Sam Winchester is a Little Shit, god bless kale, i did a thing, kale - Freeform, someone should stop me
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-25
Updated: 2019-02-25
Packaged: 2019-11-05 16:28:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,647
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17922323
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SatanSpawnedNougat/pseuds/SatanSpawnedNougat
Summary: Castiel has been appointed with the task to watch over Jack... but then he manages to lose him.Gabriel might be at fault. Might.





	God Bless Kale (Destiel)

**Author's Note:**

> Another madness story I've written for the Jack Protection Squad on Amino. Enjoy and until next month for the next Jack story x)

“Are you _sure_ that you will be fine on your own?” Sam asked Castiel, frowning in concern.

“Yes, Sam. I will be fine,” Castiel replied with a nod. Mary had called the brothers and said she needed help with something, so Sam and Dean were going to join up with her on a hunt. Castiel had offered to go as well, to stay by their side and aid them to the best of his abilities, but _someone_ had to stay behind to watch Jack - whom was still a child in the ways that mattered the most. “Do call me if you end up needing my help with anything,” he added, at which Sam nodded.

The angel stood in the doorway and watched the hunter go towards the Impala - where Dean was doing something by the trunk. He was probably putting in their bags and the like. Sam got in the car, and after a while, the tires screeched over the asphalt and they drove off. Castiel watched them go until they disappeared behind the horizon. 

Unable to see his friends anymore, Castiel turned back into the house with the intention of finding Jack and seeing what the Nephilim would be up to. 

“Jack?” He called out, having closed the door behind himself.

“I’m here!” Jack’s voice called out. 

Following the sound of the voice - and the pulse of celestial power he could sense - he eventually found himself in the kitchen. Jack has seated himself at the kitchen table with Sam’s laptop in front of him and wearing a pair of red headphones. He appeared to be watching something on the laptop. Moving to stand behind the child, the angel took a peek at what he was watching, a frown forming on his face. 

It was an animated program with a yellow sponge and a pink star... Castiel did not understand just what he was seeing.

 

Pausing the program, Jack removed his headphones and gave him a smile. “Hello,” he said. 

“Hi, Jack,” Castiel replied. “What are you watching?” He blurted out, unable to help himself. 

“I’m not sure,” the Nephilim replied, “but it’s funny.”

“How are your powers?”

Jack glanced back at the screen. “Nothing strange has happened yet today, so that’s good.”

“Is there something that you would want me to get for you?” Castiel asked almost awkwardly. It had been a few weeks since Jack bought him back from The Empty, and the angel was trying his best to form a bond with the young Nephilim. He wanted Jack to like him, to look up to him. To see him as family. He had promised Kelly that he would watch over her son and protect him, and he was about to keep that promise.

Jack seemed to think about his question for a while, tilting his head in a way that was much like an angel’s. “Can you maybe bring me some nougat from the kitchen? I think we still have some left,” he asked, giving Castiel his best puppy-dog eyes - he had watched Sam do it many times. 

At the mention of the candy, Castiel grinned. Sam has told him about Jack’s love for the candy and the hunter had always made sure that they had some in the Bunker’s kitchen. “I’ll go look now,” he said. 

Jack smiled up at him and went back to watching his show in fascination as Castiel left for the kitchen in his quest for nougat. 

A sound of rustling wings was heard and the Nephilim child looked up in curiosity, pausing his show again. “Castiel?” He asked, looking around for any sign of the angel - or for anything, really. He did not saw the angel, but his gaze did fell on an item laying on the ground. A wonderful delicious item. A true treat for the child of angels and men.

A nougat bar. 

There was a trail of nougat bars laying on the ground, tempting him. His curiosity getting the best of him, Jack stood up and started picking up the candy, following the nougat trail as he went. 

After a while, Castiel returned to where he had left Jack, carrying a few nougat bars as he went. “Jack, I found the nougat-“ he started to say, just to realize that he was no more in the room. 

Castiel tilted his head in confusion. “Jack?” He called out, a bit louder now. He got no answer. Panic griping his heart, he put the nougat down next to the laptop - which was still turned on - and he went to search. _Maybe he was just playing a game_ , he tried to tell himself. Yet it did little to calm him down. What if the angels managed to break in and stole him? What if he got hurt? Or what if Lucifer managed to get his hands on him? “ _JACK_!!” Screw the ‘playing a game’, Castiel was in full on panic-mode now. 

The angel went and searched in every room of the bunker. He looked under the beds, inside the closets, on the bunker’s roof, in the garage and even the dungeon. He looked _everywhere_. But there was no sign of the Nephilim anywhere, nor anything that showed where he could have gone off to.

Realization settled in. Castiel had lost Jack.

~~

A loud, highly annoyed, groan slipped from Dean’s lips as he attempted to haul Sam’s huge body out of the car and into the Bunker. If Dean didn’t knew any better, he would say that his not so little brother was drunk off his ass. But Dean knew that was not the case.

Dean had blown the brains out of the witch they were hunting, but that was not before she had managed to hit Sam with a beam of magic which had knocked him out cold. He had yet to come by, which was something Dean was started to worry about. And that was the only reason he had asked their mother to get Rowena to cure Sam of whatever was going on with him. He just hoped that Cas and Jack managed to stay out of trouble.

One thing he did not expect upon his return, was the state the bunker was in. Dean froze in the doorway, his eyes widening drastically. It was like the Bunker was hit by a furious tornado. The table in their ‘war room’ - as Dean liked to call it - was gone. The chairs and books were laying all over the place. Even the walls seemed to have been ripped apart, as if someone decided to look _inside_ the walls and did not found what they were looking for. Fearing for his angel, Dean assumedthe worst and managed to pull his gun out of his pants as he stumbled downstairs - miraculously not dropping Sam.

“Cas?”

A sound of thundering footsteps was heard a few rooms over. Something was coming his way. And fast. In a second, Dean felt like how Simba must have felt in the ravine when all those larger animals came racing his way. Except it was not a pack of wild animals, but a single panicking Seraphim. “Cas!” Dean called out in shock. And then he was tackled to the ground by the angel, who wrapped himself around him like a hug. He landed with a groan, with Cas on top of him and he had dropped Sam, who fell to the ground and stayed there like a glorified sack of potatoes. “What’s wrong, Cas?” Dean groaned out.

“I lost Jack and can’t find him anymore,” the angel replied in a tiny voice, holding Dean tighter until the mortal feared that the celestial might accidentally crush his bones.

“Can’t breathe,” Dean managed to squeak out, face reddening. Castiel let him go and for one small second, Dean found himself lost in the angel’s eyes; feeling like he was both soaring and drowning in their depths. Dean shook his head, clearing his thoughts. “How did you lose Jack?” He asked as they stood up. “What happened?” He noticed that Castiel wasn’t wearing his trench coat and his hair was ruffled more than usual. The idea of Cas without his coat was oddly unnerving to Dean.

“I was getting Jack some nougat from the kitchen but when I returned he was gone. I looked everywhere,” a flash of panic appeared in Cas’ eyes.

Dean looked around at the destroyed room. He believed Cas when the angel told him he had looked everywhere. He nodded. “Alright. Just help me with putting Sam in his room and then I will help you search for our lost Nephilim.”

It was as if Castiel just noticed Sam, whom was still on the floor. “What happened?”

“A witch knocked him out. Mom is getting Rowena for help,” Dean explained quickly as Castiel reached down and threw Sam over his shoulder. _Bless angels and their strength_ , Dean couldn’t help but think. They started walking towards Sam’s room as Dean gave him a more detailed report of what went down with the witch.

~~

“Okay, I think we really lost Jack,” Dean announced after they’ve been searching for about one hour. He had even went and checked the traffic cameras to see if a lost Nephilim would appear on them. But there was no trace of Jack. It was as if he had just disappeared into thin air.

Castiel gave Dean a panicked look. Dean felt like he had to say _something_ to calm the angel down. “I think our best bet for now is to wait until mom gets here with Rowena to fix Sam. Then we can all work together to find Jack. We will find him, Cas, don’t worry.” Almost awkwardly, he gave the angel’s shoulder a pat. But it seemed to work on Castiel, for at least some of the tension seems to have left his shoulders. The angel nodded, giving him a rare smile and Dean felt his own mood lift drastically.

They looked up when they heard footsteps nearing. “Jack?” Castiel asked hopefully. Dean was more doubtful. It did not sound like Jack, the thread was heavier. It sounded more like Sam.

“I think that it’s Sam,” Dean voiced his thoughts aloud.

“That’s a good thing then,” Castiel replied, appearing to be relieved that their friend was at least fine.

Castiel’s relief was short lived. For none of them were expecting - _or prepared for_ \- what happened next.

The door burst open and revealed Sam... stark naked and covered head to toe in what appeared to be... kale? Dean’s eyes nearly burst out of their sockets when his brain slowly progressed the fact that his brother had, indeed, covered his naked and glue slicked body in kale. Why was beyond Dean.

 _But at least his ‘private parts’ were completely covered_.

“Sam, why are you covered in kale?” Castiel bluntly asked. Dean shot him a look.

Sam gave them a crazed look. “He’s bewitched,” Castiel stated, looking slightly worried.

Dean’s head shot up in alarm. _What the fuck did this witch do to my brother_?!

“GOD BLESS KALE!!” Sam randomly screeched at the top of his lungs. Castiel and Dean alike jumped. And then Sam charged straight at them as if he was some kind of fearsome kale monster, a war cry of some sorts slipping out of his lips.

Dean nearly stumbled over his own feet while trying to get out of the way. The last thing he wanted was getting run over by his giant brother turned insane. Before Dean knew it really, he and Cas were running around the Bunker in circles, with Sam chasing after them and screaming his head off. “CAS!” Dean yelled. “ _DO SOMETHING_!!”

“LIKE WHAT?!” Castiel yelled back.

“ _ANYTHING_!!”

“GOD BLESS KALE!!” Sam yelled again.

~~

The door to the bunker opened again. Revealing Mary and Rowena. Upon hearing all the screaming and yelling, they looked up in sync. One look at Sam’s naked and kale-covered body, and Rowena turned around. “Nope,” the witch said and walked out.

Mary’s mouth had dropped open. She could only stare in disbelief. “Rowena, wait!” She called back to the redhead.

“Trust me, dearie,” Rowena called back, holding up her hands, “you do _not_ want to get between this. I know this spell. The ‘crazy spell’ wears off in a few hours. And trust me, you don’t want Sam to see you now the way he is. Let’s just get a drink and then come back, when the moose is back to normal.”

Before Mary could say anything really, Rowena already started dragging her along to God knew where. Still too stupefied by what she just saw, Mary let her.

~~

_Another hour or so later_

Jack took another bite out of his nougat bar, feeling like he had ended up in his own personal Heaven. A hand touched his head and gave his hair a playful ruffle.

“You know, kid,” Gabriel spoke in amusement, slightly giggling to himself, “you really aren’t that bad. You got potential in you.” The main reason that the Archangel had bribed the Nephilim to him with nougat was because he wanted to screw around some with Castiel - he did not expect to get along so well with Jack, his nephew. Even just for the fact that they seemed to share a love for candy and everything sweet - the other angels never understood him, but this little Nephilim, on the other hand, _did_.

“You also aren’t that bad for an angel,” Jack replied. Gabriel decided to take that as a compliment. “But I should go back soon. I don’t want them to worry too much,” the child added, frowning slightly.

“Just say the word and I’ll zap you back,” Gabriel shrugged, throwing a few empty candy wrappers on the growing pile between them.

“I like to go back,” Jack announced after a while, throwing another candy wrapper on the pile.

Feeling slightly saddened, Gabriel nodded, respecting his wish. “I do have one favor to ask of you,” the Archangel said, “please don’t tell them, especially Castiel, that I am alive.” 

Jack tilted his head. “Why?” 

When he replied, Gabriel’s smile was sad. “That’s perhaps a story for another time,” was all the Archangel said. Jack nodded. “If you wish to see or talk to me again, for anything really, just pray,” Gabriel added, snapping his fingers once. 

One moment Jack had been eating candy with the Archangel Gabriel, and the next he found himself back into the bunker. The Nephilim blinked at his sudden change of surroundings. _I need to get him to teach me how to do that_ , he thought to himself, right before Castiel barreled into him. 

“ _Jack_!!” Arms wound themselves around him and Jack was wrapped tightly into a hug. Stumbling slightly, surprise hit him but he quickly composed himself and hugged the angel back. “Where have you been?” Castiel pulled back and shot him a glare as he held the child at arms length. “Do you have any idea how worried I was?!” 

“I’m sorry,” Jack replied, eyes widening in shock. Remembering the promise he had made to Gabriel, he stayed quiet about his meeting with the angel. “I didn’t mean to.”

Castiel shook his head and sighed, bringing the child in for another hug. “It’s alright. I’m not mad, I was just worried.” He said. “If you’re going anywhere, just tell someone, alright?”

Jack nodded and was aware of Sam and Dean entering the room. He tilted up his head from Castiel’s shoulder and his eyes widened even more. Dean was paler than a ghost and looked like he witnessed the world’s greatest horror. And Sam looked as confused as it could get. “Sam,” the Nephilim gawked, “why are you naked and covered in kale?”

Sam winced as if he got visibly punched in the gut. But Jack never got his answer, for all three of them refused to speak about it.


End file.
